5 things Costa Rica will do for me.

1. Conquer my fear of heights. There are about a million ziplines in Costa Rica. They are called canopy tours. You go to the top of the rainforest, entrust your life to a belay, and zip line through the jungle. Sometimes you go over rivers, or sometimes canyons. I am terrified of heights, and always have been. As soon as I get up there I am going to cry my eyes out. I am going to cry the entire time, but I will finish, and then I will want to do it again. Such is the nature of a Britany.

2. Make me re-learn Spanish. I was a Spanish minor through a lot of my collegiate career. I decided that I hated the language mainly out of disdain for conjugating verbs. I stuck with French, and never looks back.

Hello Spanish speakers, don't mind if I do.

3. Take photographs. Be prepared....Facebook is going to be filled with them. I predict at least 2500 pictures of Anna will be on Facebook by the end of the trip.

4. Perfect my math skills. They use colones in Costa Rica. Time to start converting currency!

5. Learn how to live without an appendage (aka my iPhone). I am not taking a phone to Costa. I am cutting myself off. This is my break from reality. I am sorry if something important happens to one of my friends.

Bendy - If you fall down at a bar, I am sorry, you will not be able to call me.
Stefanie - If you complete that entire book of crossword puzzles, I am sorry, you will not be able to call me.
Anna - We will be together if you are pooping just yell at me from across the hall.
Hannah - We will be together, don't dance on the bar.

Short list. Great time. Can't wait.

Love,
brit.

independence is such a bitch

So here it is - blog #1 not on Myspace.

I have been attempting to learn how to love being alone for the past year. Since my boyfriend and I broke up last March I had all these pieces I had to put back together. It was one hell of a puzzle, but with the help of some good friends, good places, good drinks, and good music I feel like I am where I wanna be.....

Then last night, as I am drunkingly roaming from bar to bar, I realize that being comfortable in this spot may be comfortable, but it is also scary as all hell. I enjoy my time alone, but I am afraid of how comfortable I am with it. I don't feel like I need anyone. I don't need to put myself out there, and get my feelings hurt. I don't need to worry constantly about little things. Then I start thinking about how boring my life will be without all of them. Now that I have figured out that being myself is wonderful, I start to think that maybe I want to be part of something greater, but I am terrified.

Please bear with me. Sometimes I get confused, or distracted, and don't think about what is going on. I am trying to take things at face value and that slows things down a bit. It is always more fun to believe the fantasy you have cooked up in your head than what is really going on.

I ramble sometimes......

I am a COMMITMENTPHOBE. It's official.

I had a dream that this boy I like told me he was falling in love with me. I don't remember much about it except that I woke myself up shaking my head no. Maybe I wasn't dreaming, maybe it really happened. I have no clue, but that isn't the important part - my reaction is. I am terrified of being in a relationship - a real one. Not the kind where you go out for drinks all the time, and occasionally sleep together, or maybe watch a movie. I am terrified of a real one - where you open up to another person, and you take their secrets and fears and make them your own. To fall in love with someone and be scared for you, them, the future, making things "ours".

Not everything I write will be about relationships, or me, or you, but this thought has been dominating my mind for the past two days.

Thank you vodka for opening my eyes.

Love always,
brit.